Beck and Call

He says: On your beckon call
I say: At your beck and call

Julia Roberts refers to herself in Pretty Woman as a "beck-and-call girl."

Which is it? I think me and Julia Roberts are right.

Bonnie Bear

Bon Iver

being Internet famous, relative obscurity, the new way culture develops, silliness

Jasper

Apparently Jasper Johns likes order with his chaos.

Tom tom

Tom Waits talks about how mishearing things is inspiring. Embrace the chaos.

Communication breakdown

What I might like most about malapropisms is the absurdity, the way confusion about language leads to silly misunderstandings. It's a little twist to your brain, in the same vein as drawing tenuous connections, making everything into a metaphor, or perceiving things that aren't really happening (see: McGurk Effect). Like, chill.

New: more brilliant miscommunications I come across, starting with a bit of typo poetry from a work-related email:

"Let us know if you née anything else."

Well, maybe it's only funny to me.

This is a few lines from a recent alien sighting over Brooklyn (thanks Stefano):

"randomly looking outside of my window and noticing something strange
red yellowish objects in the sky dancing back n forth performing maneuvers no earthly object could perform the "fireballs" seemed dynamic and aware of what they were doing"

Hello nurse!

A conversation yesterday about using vintage pick-up lines like "Hubba hubba" and "Hello Nurse," made Leti's post titled "HELLOOOOOOOO NURSE!!!!" catch my eye. (The post is about the film "White Squall." Haha. Leti, you should see The Town if you're looking for serious eye candy.)

Soo, intrigued by this little Celestine Prophecy-worthy coincidence, I checked it out and learned that the vaudeville-era phrase is the origin of today's wolf whistle. Real creative guys!

Ion Like a Lion in Zion

Listening to Desmond Dekker this morning, I was telling Josh how I thought the lyrics were "tamaloo tamashoo tamaway" when he actually says, "them a loot, them a shoot, them a wail." Josh shared his own reggae confusion with "Iron Lion Zion." I like it when the misunderstanding is better than the original.

Happy Presents Day!

Quarters

Seth writes, "for the longest time, like up until a couple years ago, I thought a quarter till 8 or whatever when someone is talking about time meant 25 minutes till 8 cause a quarter is worth 25 cents."

It's true, a quarter is 25 cents. I guess Seth was always 10 minutes late or early. Fractions are the darndest things.

Masa Megos

Doug just thought I said "Masa Megos" when I asked if his post was "mas o menos" finished. META BLOGGING

It reminds of how when my grandmother started to lose her hearing, she would repeat back what she thought people were saying. Which was actually an effective way to figure out what parts she'd heard wrong. And funny.

Bald Faced Lie

Today, while researching the phrase "bold faced" to see if I could use it to mean "extremely candid," I found that there are actually three similar phrases that all mean the same thing (brazen, shameless, etc.).

However, two of them, "bald faced" and "bare faced," refer to being uncovered or unconcealed whereas "bold face" indicates someone daring enough to lie to someone's face or is a description of attention-grabbing typesetting.

For whatever reason, the WikiAnswers article claims that bald or bare faced is the most appropriate and, of the two, bare is preferred.

I went with bald faced because that was the first one that came to mind when I was writing and it accurately describes the clever thinking behind New Orleans' Prospect.1 Biennial as a giant ad promoting tourism to the city.

For All Intensive Purposes

Only sometime last year (and I think I'm not alone here) did I realize that the phrase isn't about some super intense purposes but rather about "intents and purposes." Probably some legalese so that you know it covers both.

There's actually something satisfying about that way of talking, being extremely thorough and long-winded. It's pretty much the opposite of how we communicate these days.

It's already happened to me where someone uses a crazy version of an acronym and I have no idea what they're talking about. Most recently it was Leti using "LULZIE" in place of "LOL."

The line between using that type of language ironically to make fun of it and naturally as part of everyday speech has all but disappeared. Which just means that life is more annoying and I am more of a curmudgeon.

Minus Swell

This blog (along with many painfully hilarious stories) really owes its origins to a certain ex-bf who thought that the phrase "might as well" was "minus swell." I somehow extrapolated a surfing reference from it, but really it is a pretty unpoetic phrase made nonsensical by the misinterpretation.

How do weird phrases like "might as well" happen? English is full of these little sayings that are untranslatable, relying on nothing words to say something in one of those tenses that you only use when you mean, "kinda maybe sorta." It's amazing that we can communicate at all, hence my growing belief in nonverbal communication.

The less said, the better.

Grin and Bare It

Ok, this is the first post, inspired by Doug IM-ing me, "I think I found another thing that I've gotten wrong forever."

It nicely illustrates what we can call, "Malapropisms that are maybe even better than the correct word or phrase."

Here's the definition:

To accept an unpleasant or difficult situation because there is nothing you can do to improve it. I don't want to spend the whole weekend working but I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it.

But the idea of getting naked makes whatever unpleasantness you're talking about that much more uncomfortable. Unless you're a nudist.